Super smoker, buy it now!

Excuse us for the dutch, but we couldn't hold it from you.



www.supersmoker.com

I LOVE TRINA

Lil kim, you and me is over girl. I found myself a new woman to be my baby's momma. You might know Marc Jacobs, but girl you aint got shit on this b*tch.



TRINA iz tha illest female rapper ya'll. The bitch has a killer voice and she can even walk on water as this video demonstrates us. The woman is like a female baby jezus trapped in a girly-man body.

You all know I'm for real right?

word up!

Come to daddy

WOOOO, my valentine's date video grossed a total of 25€!! Now if only I lived in Tanzania it would be worth a years pay and I would be able to buy all the sacks of flour and buckets of polluted water I wanted. But I don't. So what do I do instead?

Last night I phoned daddy.

Some of you might already know that my father is the most loving, stable and reliable person in the world who loves me just the way I am. uuh, yeah.

I tried the following:

1. Asking nicely
2. Asking more forcefully
3. Begging
4. Screaming that he is 4 months behind on the payments the lovely IB-groep makes him pay me.
5. Screaming that I will hire lawyers and lay claim on my estate
6. Hanging up telling him that If I die of starvation or nicotine deprivation it is his fault and he will feel guilty the rest of his life.

I checked my bank account this morning, there was still nothing on it. I did receive a text on my cellphone: You can always come and stay with daddy for a couple of days.



Coming to daddy would have the same effect on me as taking the subway, getting out in the middle of the Bijlmer, (a shady neighbourhood in Amsterdam) scream that I'm gay and wait until I get shot, raped, beat up or attacked by a pack of pitbulls owned by a 50 cent wannabe.

I don't have money for the train fair anyway.


(video: Aphex twin-Come to Daddy, directed by the talented Mr. Chris Cunningham)

I am St. Valentine.

so...

Like a cigarette in youre bed

I'M OUT OF CIGS!!!!!!

could my life get any worse at 1:40 am (I know, I don't have one thats why I am up this late)
eventhough it sounds horrible I did find out something nice: Youre finger nails are quite flammable. You should try it, they melt and it stinks and you'll feel great.

Oh and today I saw a chihuahua. I had a sudden urge to step on it and hear its little scull crack under my feet. Besides that I am doing quite well. Except for the fact that I am frustrated about gayness. I figured out, that, eventhough I might be one myself, I don't like 99.99% of them. Where is my man that will drink pints of beer-play WoW- listen to Sonic youth-go to punk/hardcore party's with me and on the other hand is sometimes willing to go to electric party's full of fashion guys and gays (to laugh about most of them (not all, because I can be one as well quite occasionally) and watch spirited away? (no I will not make you listen to Madonna)

Maybe it's just me. But at least I already know him, and believe he must be like a cigarette in my bed. (which is: good)

good night.

Is this a store for gay's?

After a period of absence, it was time for me to come back, with a bang. And boy do I have some news for you!

I QUIT MY JOB!!!

(so, no more discounts guuurlllls)

No more me saying:

"It's not too tight, it's just the way it fits"
"No the golden legging doesn't make you look slutty"
"I'm not drunk, I don't smell like alcohol"

No more frustrated gays trying to steal Butt magazines or throwing money at me screaming I am stuck up, and no more wulla's looking for 'Die truitje met die diepe V hals'.

(It wasn't all bad)

So now I need to start selling my organs, dance for dolla's, do naughtier things for dolla's or just get a new job. anyone?

X

p.s. the title : http://jezebel.com/341625/american-apparel-will-make-you-look-like-a-fat-hooker

(very funny)