The road back to fashion pt 1

There you are sitting in youre room, pondering about everything that has happened to you lately. You wanted to go to Spain, but you didn't have money. You wanted to go to Melt, you didn't have money. You wanted to buy that Acne jacket, you didn't have money and as if all of that isn't enough it finally dawns on you that most of youre friends are on a holiday. What do you do?

You head back to fashion.

After wondering what to do wth my life for about 2 days I finally realised that next week was fashion week. Fuck finding a job (Yes, I'm unemployed yet again) Now, I must say that fashion week isn't what you expect it to be, here in Amsterdam, but I have to say that thusfar I have been more than pleasently surprised.

It all began on thursday night, Offschedule. As always, a horrible event. The collections with exception of AndBeyond and James Long where a pain to the eye. But I'm not here to write about fashion, I promised myself to write about everything but the clothes, so I'm going to try to stick to that. OffSchedule, yes it was boring, the only thing that kind of made it worth wasting my entire night was the appearance of the always lovely lezzie's of Le tigre. They boozed it up and spinned some nice records. Two of the designers (who where both quite unattractive) made out behind the curtain, I smoked cigarettes behind the curtain, and we where chased by some crazy myspace girl and eventually went home.

The next day it was time for AndreCrews in Mediamatic. A performance to raise awareness about what we're throwing away and how to recycle clothes. There was a huge pile of clothes (5000kg to be exact) in the middle of the old ABN bank building. And the girls from AndreaCrews (who are lovely) would make you an outfit for 5 euro's. But I was there for serious things, I came with about 10 friends to model. Lots of us had to sit in window displays outside, boozing it up, or just walk around and explain the concept. For all this, we got to keep our outfit and drink as much as we liked. By the time the exhibition opened I was pissed. We had a blast and it made it into several newspapers! succes! After this, me and Aynouk went to a party of photography duo Petrovsky and Ramone. It was awesome, I don't remember half of it. What I do remember is talking to Gert from Fantastich Man and Butt (HEART HEART HEART) and doing other things I don't think I should mention here. To cut things short, we had a blast!

to figure out what happened after........

e.g. saturday-wednesday.........

check back tommorow, I'm running late for an appointment.

I'm back

Yes I am

The tidal wave of vicious terriers is coming to get you.

Naomi Campbell is such a lovely person. She assaulted and spat at an police officer. The woman is perfect. If only she was a man, or I would love girly's. We could keep each other company, I could smack her housekeepers with her drug pariphinalia and throw all the cellphones I want at random people on the street. Together we would get a border terrier and call him butch, I would train the dog to be as viscious as possible by letting him tear apart a pair of UGGS every night. He will also have his very own built in hotness radar and start barking whenever he spots a hot man in the park. Ideal for city dwellers.

Pre ordering starts now.

Delivery of the dogs will begin by end 2120 (I have to seduce naomi first).

Super smoker, buy it now!

Excuse us for the dutch, but we couldn't hold it from you.



www.supersmoker.com

I LOVE TRINA

Lil kim, you and me is over girl. I found myself a new woman to be my baby's momma. You might know Marc Jacobs, but girl you aint got shit on this b*tch.



TRINA iz tha illest female rapper ya'll. The bitch has a killer voice and she can even walk on water as this video demonstrates us. The woman is like a female baby jezus trapped in a girly-man body.

You all know I'm for real right?

word up!

Come to daddy

WOOOO, my valentine's date video grossed a total of 25€!! Now if only I lived in Tanzania it would be worth a years pay and I would be able to buy all the sacks of flour and buckets of polluted water I wanted. But I don't. So what do I do instead?

Last night I phoned daddy.

Some of you might already know that my father is the most loving, stable and reliable person in the world who loves me just the way I am. uuh, yeah.

I tried the following:

1. Asking nicely
2. Asking more forcefully
3. Begging
4. Screaming that he is 4 months behind on the payments the lovely IB-groep makes him pay me.
5. Screaming that I will hire lawyers and lay claim on my estate
6. Hanging up telling him that If I die of starvation or nicotine deprivation it is his fault and he will feel guilty the rest of his life.

I checked my bank account this morning, there was still nothing on it. I did receive a text on my cellphone: You can always come and stay with daddy for a couple of days.



Coming to daddy would have the same effect on me as taking the subway, getting out in the middle of the Bijlmer, (a shady neighbourhood in Amsterdam) scream that I'm gay and wait until I get shot, raped, beat up or attacked by a pack of pitbulls owned by a 50 cent wannabe.

I don't have money for the train fair anyway.


(video: Aphex twin-Come to Daddy, directed by the talented Mr. Chris Cunningham)

I am St. Valentine.

so...